Terese With No H

I’m Terese, with no H, I’m Terese of the street,
And I like to have standards, I’m prissy and neat.
I’m busty and glamorous, businesslike too,
Oh I may not be tall but I’m bigger than you.
I’m Terese with no H, and I’m telling you this:
Something happened to Brad when that tramp stole a kiss.
Yes, I know that she’s lonely now poor Matt is dead,
But my husband has just put his wood in her shed!

I’m Terese with no H, and I’m angry and bitter,
The news of their romping is all over Twitter,
And people are pointing and staring at me,
Cos I’m having a wine and it’s just ten past three.
Well so what if I drink? Hell, I’m having one more,
And it’s clearly what Lassiters wine stash is for.
Look, I know people claimed it was all in my head.
But my husband has just put his wood in her shed!

I’m Terese with no H, and I just have to say
I expected support from our own Susan K,
But she’s laughing with Lauren and chatting with Brad,
So is it such a wonder I’m seething and mad?
And when I ask advice she just thinks I’m obsessed,
As she smiles and says ‘there, get it all off your chest.’
Has she quickly forgotten that feeling of dread
When your husband puts wood in another chick’s shed?

I’m Terese with no H, and I don’t like being scorned,
You wait Lauren Turner, don’t say you weren’t warned.
For hell hath no fury like me when enraged,
You think that you’ve won but you’ll soon be upstaged.
I’m plotting and planning behind that big tree,
You haven’t yet seen the revenge side of me.
Your garden will soon be as bare as your bed,
No Brad in your storeroom, no wood in your shed!

© Carol Ann Wood
October 2015

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Index of Posts:

• Dee: The Mystery Solved!
• Train Wreck Elly
• Dipi’s Magic Tea
• A Rainbow Of Love
• Reviving Clive
• The Communal Date
• The Leaving Of Steph
• The Bea’s Knees
• Pecs and Sex
• Dipi’s Trail Of Destruction
• The Return Of Plain Jane Super Brain
• David Tanaka In Cambridge
• Don’t Get Too Busy, Izzy
• Don’t Go Near The Hot Tub, Clive
• Elly’s Shoulders: A poem in celebration of Miss Conway’s clavicle, scapula and humerus
• How To Be Besties With Angie Rebecchi
• Make Sheila Feel Alive, Clive!
• The Plot Thickens
• Lyneeeeeee Returns (Again)
• The Neighbours Whodunnit
• Temperatures Raise With Terese
• Water-Ramsay-Street-Gate
• Rewriting history?
• Only A Carbon Footprint Away
• Ladybird Lover: Down And Dirty With Gary
• Father Jack In The Sack
• Beauty And The Priest: Father Jack and his tortured soul.
• Dream A Little Dream Of Me: Reflections on Matt Turner’s reappearance
• Beauty And The Priest
• Terese Talks
• Sheila Takes A Look At Love
• Love Thy Neighbour: Kyle Canning 
• Love Thy Neighbour: The marriage of Daniel and Imogen
• Let’s Hear It For The Boys! Nate and Aaron
• Love Thy Neighbour: Amy Williams
• Love Thy Neighbour: Amber Turner 
• Lauren In Limbo
• From Boy To Man: RIP Josh Willis
• An open Letter From Nate Kinski
• Brad’s Eye View
• Pappa Was A Rolling Stone
• The Doppelgänger
• Remembering Matt Turner
• Bye Bye Bailey
• Georgia On My Mind
• What A Sheila!
• Terese Willis: More Sinned Against Than Sinning
• You’ve Got A Friend In Sonya
• Through Paige’s Eyes
• Terese With No H
• Biker Girl’s Back
• Love Thy Neighbour: Never Sully A Scully!
• Love Thy Neighbour: Naomi Canning

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Links:
About the author
Contact the author
Follow Carol Ann Wood on Twitter
Carol’s football-related blog: Levelling the Playing-Field
NOT Just Saying: Carol’s comments on feminism, fashion, food and folly
Perfect Blend
Neighbours

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