The first in a series of regular poetic reviews of Erinsborough’s Ramsay Street – this one a review of the week’s episodes
Susan, Susan, smug and smart,
Swish that cape and steal the part!
‘The Perfect Blend’ left Karl surprised.
(You sure that line ain’t plagiarised?)
Paulie, Paulie, hold it there!
Wife number six so young and fair?
Not your money she is after?
Just your charm? (Cue viewers’ laughter.)
Amy, Amy, handy tradie,
You going back to work so shady?
If you need some saucy gear,
The Blue Box lies in a house quite near.
Toadie, Toadie, do not dredge
The lake to find your lovelock pledge.
You never know what secrets might
Be buried there and come to light.
Karl’s compost plans, or his dollar stash,
Might bob up with a mighty splash.
And, heaven forbid, a watery call
From another love child, son of Paul.
Elly, Elly, you okay?
You haven’t had a drink all day.
You’re doing the things that teachers do.
It’s most absurd and not like you.
Tyler, Tyler, Tyler B,
How dumb are you? You cannot see
That Hamish is a lying creep?
It makes the viewers want to weep.
Yashvi, Yashvi, think you’re cool
To cause a stink that closed the school?
Such pranks as this do not end well.
Ask Piper of her burning hell.
Will Gary and Terese get back
To limbering in the spa or sack?
Will Guy Fawkes go without a hitch?
Is Courtney real or a scheming bitch?
Will Sheila’s heart be a shattered mess?
Should we send for Clive in his fancy dress?
It’s an average week in our favourite place.
So follow this blog and watch this space!
© Carol Ann Wood
Week ending Friday 27 October 2017
Index of Posts:
- The Leaving Of Steph
- The Bea’s Knees
- Pecs and Sex
- Dipi’s Trail Of Destruction
- The Return Of Plain Jane Super Brain
- David Tanaka In Cambridge
- Don’t Get Too Busy, Izzy
- Don’t Go Near The Hot Tub, Clive
- Elly’s Shoulders: A poem in celebration of Miss Conway’s clavicle, scapula and humerus
- How To Be Besties With Angie Rebecchi
- Make Sheila Feel Alive, Clive!
- The Plot Thickens
- Lyneeeeeee Returns (Again)
- The Neighbours Whodunnit
- Temperatures Raise With Terese
- Rewriting history?
- Only A Carbon Footprint Away
- Ladybird Lover: Down And Dirty With Gary
- Father Jack In The Sack
- Beauty And The Priest: Father Jack and his tortured soul.
- Dream A Little Dream Of Me: Reflections on Matt Turner’s reappearance
- Beauty And The Priest
- Terese Talks
- Sheila Takes A Look At Love
- Love Thy Neighbour: Kyle Canning
- Love Thy Neighbour: The marriage of Daniel and Imogen
- Let’s Hear It For The Boys! Nate and Aaron
- Love Thy Neighbour: Amy Williams
- Love Thy Neighbour: Amber Turner
- Lauren In Limbo
- From Boy To Man: RIP Josh Willis
- An open Letter From Nate Kinski
- Brad’s Eye View
- Pappa Was A Rolling Stone
- The Doppelgänger
- Remembering Matt Turner
- Bye Bye Bailey
- Georgia On My Mind
- What A Sheila!
- Terese Willis: More Sinned Against Than Sinning
- You’ve Got A Friend In Sonya
- Through Paige’s Eyes
- Terese With No H
- Biker Girl’s Back
- Love Thy Neighbour: Never Sully A Scully!
- Love Thy Neighbour: Naomi Canning
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